


We'll change together: A Feral Snufkin Au

by TuesdayToad



Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: (i wrote this awhile ago), Absent Parents, Angst, Blood, Death, Eventual kissing, Feral AU, Feral Behavior, Feral Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Fluff and Angst, Fur, Gay Panic, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Panic, Pining, Plot, Romance, Sad, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Snufkin has a crush, Snufmin Week 2019, Tags May Change, Tails, Wholesome, backstories, fluffy snufkin, forgive me for bad writing, hand holding, i made up a backstory for snufkin thats why i tagged it that, i promise the writing will get better as the story goes, mlm, mostly anyways, new chapters gonna be fire doe, not actually wholesome this story is pretty dark, snufkin in love, snufkin is depressed, snufkin went through cat puberty lol, snufkin with tail??, snufkin x moomin - Freeform, snufmin, someone help this poor man, theres actually plot i swear, they will kiss (maybe more...), undergoing change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29969007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuesdayToad/pseuds/TuesdayToad
Summary: While Snufkin was gone for the winter months something happened to him. Unwelcome changes are happening, and now he must figure out a way to hide his animalistic instincts and features from Moomin or he may lose his first true friend. He no longer trusts himself, and is plagued by nightmares. Will Snufkin ever be the same?
Relationships: Mumintrollet | Moomintroll & Snusmumriken | Snufkin, Mumintrollet | Moomintroll/Snusmumriken | Snufkin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic! I'm more of an artist than i am a writer so I'll definitely be making fanart and comic panels for certain scenes from this story. Anyways, enjoy my first writing piece!

Why did it always end up like this? 

A thick disgusting smelling liquid covered him and he couldn't help but gag at the smell. He felt around for something, anything but was only greeted by emptiness.His leg hit a soft, squishy heap on the floor and a sudden flame burst alight, jerking a soaked arm to shield his eyes from the blinding brightness he took in the scene before him. 

The liquid was blood, he looked down at his hands, shaking. It was all the way up his arms and on his tunic. It caked under his fingernails and he could taste it in his mouth. Fuzzily, he looked past his hands at the shape in front of him. It couldn't be! Is that... moomin? His pure white fur was stained red with blood, and he was deathly still.

He turned away and covered his mouth to stop himself from hurling, blood smeared against his mouth from on his hands and it only made him feel more nauseous. Then he noticed a figure in the corner of the room. A boy with a green red stained outfit stood up from the crouch position he was in, a green pointed hat covered his face. Fur covered his hands along with blood and a tail swayed back and forth behind him. He lifted a hand to his face, smiling, and opened a fang filled mouth to lick some blood off his hand. He stared back at this version of himself, terrified. A sudden weight was on his chest, and a thick fog set over the empty blood covered room he was standing in, masking his other self.

He couldn't breath, reaching out his arms desperately; he was now enveloped in a river of blood. He thrashed his arms wildly, choking and coughing. Realization hit him and he threw his blanket off his head across his tent and scooted upright in a cold sweat. He hugged his knees to his chest and sat there, breathing rapidly. Every time he closed his eyes the image of Moomin lying lifeless in front of him flashed through his head. His other self standing across from him. He knew from experience he would not be going to sleep any time soon so instead he sat up straighter preparing to get up for the day.

This isn't the first time this has happened, and when he stepped out of his tent into the chilly crisp air, it was still dark out. He was only in his pants and a white undershirt he normally wears with his everyday clothes and shifted on his feet, which were now wet and cold from the morning frost. It was almost spring, and Snufkin wasn't very far from Moomin Valley. Nearly every year he ended up leaving too early and arriving sooner than expected, so he would just camp out close to the valley. He could even see Moomins house from the clearing where his tent was. Lifting up his favorite (and only) green tunic he slipped it over his head.

He never did like owning more than one outfit, it only made things more complicated and he really didn't need more than one. He itched at his hand mindlessly, which had become a growing habit ever since the fur on his hands appeared. While he had been gone for the winter something had happened to Snufkin. He had changed, quite literally. Fur had started growing on his hands, and his nails turned more into claws. He had always had some fur on hands, but it was light and most people just assumed he had soft hands.

But he knew something was seriously happening when the fur spread up his back and chest to his ears, and he had started to grow a tail. Being so freaked out by it he had even considered cutting it off, but decided against it. When his tail had first started growing he had been extremely off balance, tripping over everything and falling in every ditch that ever crossed his path. But now that the tail had seemingly reached its full length he seemed to have more balance than ever before. He was also faster, and could leap farther. 

Just a few days prior a squirrel wandered into the clearing and he had crouched down in a hunting position involuntarily, preparing to pounce. It escaped into the trees after a failed jump on it and he ended up chasing the squirrel from tree to tree and when he caught it he had to stop himself from killing the poor creature.It scared him, he hadn't been thinking and his body took over. It took a lot more self control to let the small furry animal go than he was willing to admit and ever since that incident he was scared to go back to Moomin Valley. He couldn't help worrying about if his dreams would become a reality. What if he lost control again, and hurt somebody he cared about. He shook his head, blushing as an image of Moomin came to front. No, maybe he shouldn't go back for awhile. Not until he could get this under control. 

What would Moomin think of him? "I wouldn't be surprised if he never talked to me again, I'm hideous!" he hissed in frustration and angrily grabbed his fishing pole, tired of his thoughts, then started walking towards a stream he found a while back that farther down the mountain connects to the river at Moomins house. "I suppose chasing that squirrel really far away was good for something" he thought aloud as he walked towards the new found water source. He just needed some more time to clear his mind, and after much fishing he decided he wouldn't go to Moomin Valley just yet. He would find out a way to hide his changes from Moomin, for as long as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was clearly written very hastily, and the information was kinda thrown at yall a little too fast but I wrote this chapter months ago as a concept idea and I'm too lazy to rewrite it lol. The chapters following this one will be infinitely more interesting, and who knows maybe someday if people actually enjoy this story I'll go back and rewrite this.


	2. Patience

Evening crickets chirped as the sun set on Moomin Valley. Moomin leaned against the railing of the bridge and tilted his ears towards the growing sounds of night, closing his eyes and listening to the creatures around him.

He quickly opened them to the sound of footsteps stopping beside him, and realized Moomin Mama had joined him on the bridge. "Oh! Mother, i didn't hear you sneak up on me." He tried to calm his racing heart, hoping his mother wouldn't notice how disappointed he was that it was her. "I can be quite stealthy, you should have seen the trouble I would get into as a child" She smiled fondly at the memories of her past, then turned her attention back to Moomin 

"Not who you were hoping to see, was I?" She faintly smiled at him, and Moomin silently cursed himself for being read so easily. Moomin Mama sighed, and stared off into the distance as if deep in thought. Moomin decided to voice his concerns about Snufkin, though he presumed she could already guess what had been bothering him "Sorry mother, it's just.. He's never been this late before! I know there isn't really any specific day that spring suddenly starts but he should have been here weeks ago. What if he's lost? Or hurt? Or what if he fell into a river and hit his head, and now doesn't remember who he is or what to do..." Moomins fur was unkempt and stuck up in different directions and he had dark circles under his eyes and looked like he was about to cry.

Moomin Mama pulled him into a hug "Shh.. I'm sure he's alright. Snufkin knows how to take care of himself." She still had that distant look in her eyes when she started talking again "Everyone has their own problems to deal with, and I'm sure Snufkin had a really good reason to be this late. Especially with how close you two are. Every year I can tell it gets harder for him to leave you. Rest easy knowing that he would never abandon you, I know that for a fact. Sometimes people just need to sort their life out, and I bet Snufkin will have quite the tale to tell you when he returns."

She lightly nuzzled the side of his head, "Thank you," he said in a quiet voice as she stepped away, straightening out her apron. She started towards their house, calling over her shoulder to Moomin, "Come now, i have dinner ready. We don't want you to starve before he arrives! And please, make yourself a little more presentable" Moomin gave her a genuine smile, knowing he can always count on his mom to cheer him up. "I'll be right in, I just need a moment" Moomin Mama nodded once, and calmly walked back up the trail to their house. 

Moomin sighed, and turned towards the forest. He hitched his breath, giving one last hope that he would see the familiar green dress of his friend, and hear his sweet melody mixed with the growing sounds of night. But when nothing happened, he disappointingly turned towards the smell of his mother's cooking, realizing how hungry he was. Moomin was lost in thought as he trudged back up the path to the voices of his family, pondering what his mother said. "I just hope he's okay" He said under his breath, and with one last look at the stars that now dotted the deep purple sky, he stepped into the warmth and comfort of his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very short chapter this time, they'll get longer i promise.


	3. Loneliness

One of the first things Snufkin noticed that changed was his sense of smell. It happened practically overnight, and was one of the first alterations in a long line of unwanted and unprecedented changes.

He just woke up one morning and all the sudden could smell, well... everything! The numerous flowers that had begun growing, people that had travelled there days before, the different dirt's that covered the ground. So when he jolted awake to the sharp, metallic smell of blood, you'd better bet he was on high alert. His eyes narrowed, and he lifted his head to the roof of his tent to try and get a better idea of where it was coming from.

Quietly, he unzipped his tent, and his heart nearly skipped a beat when he came face to face with a blood covered wolf that held a limp white rabbit in its mouth. Instantly his animal side took over, and a growl he didn't know he could produce rose in the back of his throat. His fur spiked up and the wolf growled back, dropping the rabbit and looking him over. All he could think was that this wolf was on his territory, stealing his food. They both began walking in a loose circle, never breaking eye contact. His heart was racing, and he had never felt more alive.

Most of his life is a blur, he tiredly wanders from place to place. The only sharp memories he has are ones from when he was with Moomin. Moomin... oh he missed him. He wished none of this was happening so he could go back to Moomin Valley and be with people who make him happiest. He hated most days, and had never felt more low than recently. He was so lonely, which surprised him because he seemed to do pretty good with loneliness. 

In the brief moment he had lost focus, the wolf had lunged, instantly going for his neck and managed to bite down hard enough to draw blood before he batted at its face with his clawed hand, leaving nasty scratches across its muzzle. It yelped in surprise at the attack, but quickly recoiled, pinning him to the ground with its front paws and leaving deep gashes down his stomach.

It opened its mouth, revealing a sharp row of fangs and he hissed at it, desperately trying to kick the wolf off him with his legs. He managed to knock its hind leg out from under it, causing it to stumble. He saw his window, and all in one motion he pushed off his hands, grabbing the wolves neck between his fangs. 

It yowled in pain, thrashing around and gasping for breath. He hissed as it tried to wiggle out of his grasp, and he held its body down with his hands, digging his claws deep into the exposed flesh of its stomach. It's growling slowly lessened, and he didn't drop the limp body from his mouth until long after it had gone still. 

The taste of blood on his tongue shook him back to reality, every movement caused him pain and when he scooted back rapidly and took in the scene before him, he leaned over and hurled up everything he had eaten the day before. The clearing was covered in fur from both the wolf and him, and splatters of red dotted the tousled dirt. The lifeless body of the wolf was slumped in the corner, its eyes wide and unseeing.

He grabbed his stomach impulsively, causing him to yelp in pain. Carefully he removed it to find blood pooling out of his palm, this time his own. Tears streamed down his face and he gasped for breath. He gently tried pressing down on the deep cuts going across his lower abdomen, but gagged from pain and the nasty taste of blood mixed with throw up in his mouth. It felt like his insides were about to spill out and when he tried to stand he fell over dizzy. 

He could feel himself slowly ebbing away, his will to keep going dissipating. Not that there was much of that to begin with. It felt oddly calm, as if he was floating over a still black sea. Images of his past floated by, his father abandoning him in the cold snow, walking away without so much as a goodbye. One of the only things he had remembered about his father was his bright red hat, a stark contrast to the crisp white snow. Then it showed child version of himself desperately looking for somewhere, anywhere he could call home. 

It took him awhile to discover that he didn't need one, the whole world was his home. It is a lonely lifestyle, but it's what he needed to do to survive. He felt so tired, his eyes began to glaze over and he vaguely acknowledged that the sun was rising. Then images of Moomin flashed behind his eyes. Moomin laughing at a completely mud covered Snufkin. Him and Moomin sitting on the bridge, moonlight reflecting off his eyes. Moomin sadly yelling "See you next spring!" as he walks away.

A pain deeper than his physical wounds hit him, and he came to a sharp realization just before he could black out completely. 

()()~To be continued~()()


	4. Longing

He realized he had something to live for. He couldn't bear the thought of Moomin finding him like this or even hearing about what had happened to him. He refused to abandon Moomin, not after promising he'd be back again. Now he was fighting off the fuzziness. He forced himself back into his mind and was swarmed with a wave of pain. 

Suddenly an idea formed in his head. He remembered he had bought some supposed healing elixir off a traveling saleswoman. He just hoped it would work, as it was probably the only way he would survive this. He flipped himself on his side, and slowly inched his way towards his tent. By now the sun had risen, and there was already a vulture flying overhead. The caws of the bird kept him focused, giving him more of a reason to push forward. 

It felt like it had been hours, but he finally arrived at the entrance of his tent. Luckily it was open and all he had to do was reach inside and pull out his bag. Contents spilled out and in a small pouch near the bottom there was a bottle full of bright pink liquid. He attempted to read the small instructions on the side but his head felt like it was swimming and every word seemed to blend together.

He gave up after a headache-inducing a minute of trying to figure it out, and instead popped the lid off the bottle and poured some of the pink juice on his wound. The effects happened instantly, and a burning firey pain spread through the cuts. He screamed in agony as the skin healed over, it felt as if his stomach was on fire. Once the pain finally subsided he looked down to see 3 long pink scars where the wounds had been.

He winched when he tried to sit up and could tell all the potion did was close the cuts, the injuries inside still untouched and very much painful. His head pounded and the dizziness hadn't left, which he guessed was from blood loss. He was definitely better, and shakily stood up careful not to reopen the wounds. He propped himself up against a tree and grabbed the side of his head, trying to make it stop spinning. 

He coughed drily, likely dehydrated. There was his next goal, he thought, to get water. Luckily he had refilled his canteen the day before and began limping back towards his tent. Collapsing inside he grabbed his canteen from next to his sleeping bag, propping himself up on one elbow he proceeded to chug the water. He had forgotten about the bite marks on his neck, which were covered in dried blood but still stung whenever he turned his head. 

At least he wasn't seeing doubles anymore, he thought. He pulled the potion out of his pocket and read the labels plastered all over the bottle. "Mama Erdrich's Magical Healer! Feeling sick or injured? Never fear! Mama's healer will fix you right up. Just water down one tbsp of the elixir with water and drink it once a day. Do NOT pour over the injured area or ingest directly." 

He physically cringed and looked down at the nearly empty bottle he had dumped over his cuts. He decided to just let his neck heal naturally, finding it unwise to put any more of the potion in his body. Instead, he tucked it in the little travel pouch he kept by his sleeping area and collapsed back onto his sleeping bag, completely exhausted. 

He didn't remember falling asleep but woke up what he assumed was hours later, throat dry and head still hurting. He sat up again, grabbing his canteen only to find it was empty. By now it was nearly sunset, and after looking over his torn stained clothes and wounds which were now caked with dried blood he decided he was going to the stream to get cleaned up and refill his water. 

He placed his hand against the side of his head, pressing his eyes together tightly, and tried to stand up. Another wave of dizziness hit and everything hurt, especially his stomach which was obviously not fully healed. He refused to give up and instead snatched the walking stick he had propped against a tree right outside his tent, which made it significantly easier to walk. 

Then he grabbed a change of clothes, seeing how his current ones were shredded and clearly unwearable. He was still weak and felt just as tired as before, but was afraid if he went back to sleep he wouldn't wake up again. So he slowly made his way down to the stream, managing to stumble over every stick and rock in his path. 

He finally made it to the river and stepped into the freezing cold water, noting that more fur had grown on his arms and lower legs. It grew from his elbows down and covered his chest and part of his back. Along with his lower legs and the back of his neck which connected to the fur on his chest and back. It took him a lot longer to clean up because of the extra fur but he managed.

He dried off and got into his undershirt and pants knowing full well he was going to collapse from exhaustion as soon as he got back. He walked to his camp slowly, feeling much better. His stomach grumbled hungrily but he had no food and knew it was too late to walk back to the river for fish and was too dark to look for any fruits or vegetables.

It was also unlikely he would even make it that far, seeing as he'd barely even made it back to camp. So instead he walked to his tent, making sure to prop the walking stick somewhere he could reach it. As soon as his head hit his pillow he was asleep. And luckily he had a dreamless, peaceful night. He'd been very sleep deprived the past couple of weeks, having nightmare after nightmare that all seemed to go the same.

He was the monster, and he couldn't stop himself from hurting the ones he loved.

He woke up mid-day and felt refreshed, still sore but not as tired. Slipping into his usual torn green pants, a fresh white undershirt, green tunic, old boots, and yellow scarf he scouted around for food. After finding a blooming berry bush and scarfing them down he decided to move somewhere new, not being able to stay near the dead animals any longer. 

He didn't want anyone to find out what he had done, and since he refused to touch them he completely relocated his camp. All he did was move his tent and supplies closer to the stream and in a thicker patch of the forest, erasing all traces that he had ever been there. That alone took about an hour and a half. If his near-death experience did anything it was make him realize how much he missed Moomin, and how much he needed him.

Once he was finally settled he quickly stepped into his tent and dug through his bag until he found a pair of old black gloves and a thicker scarf that was a dark shade of purple. At last he'd decided he had to go see Moomin. After slipping the gloves on, being careful to retract his claws first, he proceeded to wrap his neck in the very thick scarf, making sure to cover up the fur that was sneaking onto the sides of his face and wished he had a mirror on him to make sure he was well covered. He was almost satisfied with his look until he remembered his tail.

Mentally slapping himself in the face he craned his neck around to see the slender fuzzy tipped tail that swished back and forth. He had cut holes into his pants because it was extremely uncomfortable to tuck his tail in, and also generally made him less coordinated. He sighed, and reached behind him, grabbing his tail and tucking it under his pants, to which it fidgeted and attempted to escape against his will. 

'How do I control this damn thing?' he frustratedly thought. Just then he got an idea, why not just wear a belt! Aside from the fact that he didn't have one, but he did have a rope. So he tucked his tail in again and then tied the waist of his pants tighter with the rope making escape impossible. He stood with his hands on his hips, satisfied with his look. And with that, he took a brave sure-footed step forward... and face planted.


	5. Turmoil

Moomin was curled tightly in a blanket, trying to not exist. It had been a solid month since spring started, and Snufkin hasn't even done so much as write a letter. Was he ever going to come back? Did he even want to come back? Moomin was considerably thinner, and he refused to get out of bed. 

He told his family that he would continue hibernating until Snufkin arrived, as it can't possibly be spring without him. He's known Snufkin for several years now, every spring he returned without fail. It's almost as if he never left, as most years he promised not to leave until after Moomin started hibernating. 

Moomin Mama knocked on his door frame "Mind if I come in?" and before he could respond she stepped inside, walking over to his nightstand to set a plate of food down, next to two other untouched platefuls of food. All he did was sigh, the past few weeks Moominmama had been making all his favorite dishes, trying to get him to eat.

He didn't feel hungry anymore, if anything the thought of food repulsed him. But he could see how hard she had worked on it and didn't want to make her feel bad, so he sat up, his head felt stuffy but still he managed to take a few bites. It tasted good, of course, but made his stomach upset. She sat on the edge of his bed, watching him take a few mouthfuls and then placing the plate back down. 

MoominMama stared at him intensely, trying to read him. He couldn't meet her eyes, and instead tucked himself back under his blanket. That had done it, She stood up, clearly angry, and that caught his attention. She was never angry. "Now listen here Moomin, I won't stand for this behavior. I know you miss Snufkin and are very worried for him but making yourself sick isn't going to solve anything. What am I going to tell Snufkin when he shows up and you've starved yourself?" 

Eyes wide, he opened his mouth to talk, but she just kept on going. "I'm extremely disappointed that you are so helpless without him. I've always been supportive of everything you do but this dangerous attachment to Snufkin needs to stop. You're not a child anymore, I expected you to grow out of this. Now you'd better start eating and quit it with this nonsense or I'm going to force-feed you." She huffed with an angry, disapproving tone. 

Moomin was hurt, and dumbfounded, he had never been scolded by Moominmama like this before. Her face softened, anger fading into concern. "I just want what's best for you Moomin. And honestly, Snufkin never really was a good influence on you. The kind of danger he's put you in,"

Now it was his turn to be angry. "It's not like that, I made those choices on my own account!" he burst out. "He got you thrown in prison! Don't even get me started on how you two just disappear for hours on end without telling me where you're going or what you're doing-"

Moomin suddenly felt really defensive about Snufkin. Maybe they had done some stupid stuff, but it always turned out okay. "I don't need to tell you where I'm going, I'm an adult!" He practically yelled back, and Moominmama's face went from surprise to a cold hard stare 

"Fine. If you're so grown up and wise then I suppose you can care for yourself. And don't expect me to be cooking your meals anymore." She picked up cold untouched food from previous nights and left before Moomin could say anything else, closing the door behind her. 

He listened to her footsteps fade down the stairs and finally burst into tears. She had never gotten that mad at him before, and those things she said about Snufkin stung. He was his friend, his happiness. He cried for a good while. After finally pulling himself together he grabbed the plate his mother had left, the most recent one, and forced himself to eat it all. He believed she meant every word of what she said, and decided he probably wouldn't taste her cooking again until this all settled down. 

When he finished his meal he felt much better, and turned to look out his window into the dark sky. Snufkin would know what to do, he always did. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes again, but decided he was too tired to stay upset anymore. He fell asleep quickly for the first time in days.

He still felt a deep sadness that his mother was so mad at him. What he didn't know was that long after he'd fallen asleep Moominmama had quietly come in to check on him, her only light coming from a candle. She was happy to see that his plate was empty, and walked over to grab it off his nightstand.

She instead grabbed the blanket scrunched up at the bottom of the bed and pulled it up to his neck, tucking him in. She knew she had needed to get him to eat, even if it meant hurting his feelings in the process. She didn't mean what she had said, at least not fully. 

But regardless of what she thought she had managed to bring him back, get him out of the hole he had dug himself in. She would be sure to make it up to him later, feeling remorse for how she treated him. The only thing that still angered her was Snufkin, who seemed to toy with Moomin's feelings.

She scoffed, Snufkin probably isn't going to come back. And if he does, he'll wish he hadn't with the talk she was going to give him. He hated confrontation, that much was obvious. She shook her head, teenagers were never easy to deal with. They always think they're so grown until real danger presents itself, and that's when they come running back to the safe protection of home.

She had offered to let Snufkin stay with them, it wasn't natural for someone as young as him to be wandering around like that, but he blatantly refused. She picked the empty plate up off his counter and quietly left, shutting the door behind her. Moomin would get over him soon enough, and he would be back to himself in no time.


	6. Arrival

The trek into the valley was a painful one. More than once Snufkin had tripped leaving his knees and elbows covered in scrape marks. He had become so used to using his tail to balance himself that now with it uncomfortably pressed against his backside he had no coordination. 

He stopped for another break, sweat dripping down his forehead from all the extra layers. He didn't stop for long though, his heart raced in excitement and anxiety as he neared Moomin's house. What would he say to him? How would he react around other people? The only company he'd had was wildlife and so far all encounters with them did not go well.

It scared him, badly. He knew he'd be questioned, and decided he would just avoid all conversations about where he'd been. Technically he didn't have to answer them, he could just hit them with a really confusing reply to their questions and it would leave them so puzzled that they wouldn't think to push any further about it. 

It was almost genius, in a Snufkin sorta way. Somewhere along the line he had quickened his pace unconsciously as if showing up even seconds later would result in Moomin disappearing. By now he could hear the river water rushing by, and he gripped a small rectangle tightly in his hand.

He could smell the fresh flowers that he already knew covered the valley, and another scent that was just as pleasant yet he couldn't pinpoint what it was. By now he was sprinting, following his nose until he burst into the sunlit field and had to shield his eyes from the sudden light. It was all still here, exactly the same as last year.

He smiled for the first time in a long time and breathed in the scents of spring. He'd been suffocating in darkness for too long and seeing all this open space made him want to roll around in all the flowers. But that wasn't what he was here for. 

And so he lifted the small instrument he had gripped in his hand and began playing the soft tune he had practiced day after day in his self-isolation.

~)(-------------------------------------------------------------------------)(~

Moomin sat at their kitchen table munching away on a bowl of oats. Things had calmed down between him and MoominMamma, which didn't take long. She was very forgiving and even showed him how to cook a few tasty recipes. But today he just didn't feel like doing much.

He was feeling better than before, still empty and sad but it was numbing. Not as strong of a feeling. He was calmly eating his oats when he heard it. He stopped mid-bite, was he hearing things? It couldn't be him. More than once he had burst out of the house mistaking birds for Snufkin's harmonica. 

But it was different this time, could it be? Would he let himself hope? He dropped the spoon back into the bowl and shoved his chair out from the table, sprinting to the front door. Its got to be him, who else could possibly play such a beautiful song? 

Heart soaring, he opened the door and took off towards the sound of the beautiful melody.

~)(---------------------------------------------------------------------)(~

He didn't get very far into his song when he saw him, Moomin. Running towards him at full speed, tears streaming down his face. 

"SNUFFFFKIIIINNNN!!" he cried as he stumbled across the field of flowers. Instantly Snufkin's confidence diminished, his eyes darted back and forth frantically, looking for an escape route. 

He felt cornered and anxious, the hairs on his shoulders and back stood on end. Before he could process any further Moomin came crashing into him full speed, causing Snufkin to let out a yelp of pain which Moomin assumed was from surprise. He nuzzled his face into Snufkins dress, still crying. "I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! WHERE *hiccup* WERE YOU?" Moomin sniffled. He tensed, staring down at him clinging to his shirt. 

"I-um.." His mouth started watering almost instantly. What was this declicous smell? Was it coming from Moomin? He had faintly picked up on it before arriving but being in the presence of it was... too much. It was almost like sweet vanilla, and some sort of pumpkin spice. The intense desire to bite him rose to front, and instead, swiftly lifted his arm to his face and bit down. 

Pain shot through him and instantly he snapped back, the desire still present in the back of his mind. 

"Sn-Snufkin?" Moomin looked up at him with concerned eyes. He tasted blood on his tongue and realized he had torn through the fabric of his sleeve and into his arm. He swiftly pulled it behind his back, hiding the injury, though he was sure Moomin had noticed with the weird look he was giving him.

"H-hello Moomin." He said as calmly as he could, stepping back and away from Moomin.

"Why were you gone for so long? Where did you go?" Moomin asked. He still stared at him with wide, blue eyes. 

'Those eyes..' 

"Snufkin please answer me, are you okay?" He pulled his hat down to hide his blush 

'Say something!' he thought to himself 

"Yes! I'm fine... Just tired from the trip." He mumbled "Don't worry about me, are you okay? You don't look well Moomin." Although Snufkin had only said that to change the subject, he really did look terrible. Dark circles lined his eyes, his fur stuck up in different directions and he was much thinner than he remembered.

Moomin looked deeply embarrassed and started fiddling with his fingers.

"Is that because of me? Because I've been gone?"

Moomin avoided his gaze, and guilt stabbed at Snufkin's heart. That was all the answer he needed.

He hesitantly reached towards him "Moomin I-" He stopped mid-sentence, confusion crossing his face as he caught sight of a very angry, very intimidating, MoominMamma walking towards them at high speed.


	7. The runaway

He could survive alone for weeks, hunting his own food and minding his own business. He could do all that and more while remaining calm and collected on any normal day.

This, however, was not a normal day.

Snufkin instinctively pulled his scarf up, trying to hide in it. He felt dizzy and lightheaded, his knees felt like they were about to give in and his heart was racing, but he just dismissed it as overheating from all the extra layers of clothes. He did not like the look MoominMama was giving him. 

She stopped next to Moomin and just stood there, staring Snufkin directly in the eyes

"Go inside Moomin."

She remained eye contact "But mama-" 

"Go, now."

Moomin smiled apologetically then shuffled inside. MoominMama remained silent long after he had made it to the house and went inside, just staring him down. He fidgeted beneath her gaze, wildly uncomfortable and feeling more nauseous by the second. He opened his mouth to break the deafening silence but she cut him off.

"Welcome back." She said plainly. "Everyone was worried about you Snufkin. Especially Moomin.."

Snufkin didn't have to look to know Moomin was watching him through the porch window, he could... _Sense_ him. It was a weird experience, but there was some comfort in it.

He remained silent, just staring at her. Moominmama decided to just go for a straightforward question, no avoiding the question. 

"Where were you? Do you realize how much you worried everyone?"

"I've been busy.." he started 

"Too busy to even send a letter?" 

"Well I uh-"

"You can't just disappear off the face of the earth and not expect to be asked a few things Snufkin! You really hurt Moomin's feelings, and I demand to know why you've been gone for so long! Do you think you can just play with Moomin's emotions like this? Is this a game to you?"

She let out a long exasperated breath and waited for him to respond. Snufkin tried to think of an excuse, it should have been easy. Another wave of dizziness hit him.

_'Just say something like, uh, you got lost!'_

"I just-" he started,

"Snufkin?" She cut him off, noticing he didn't seem well.

"Are you oka- _Oh my god your bleeding!_ " 

He gasped and looked down to see that his tunic was covered in blood. MoominMamma instantly leaped into action.

"MOOMINPAPA COME QUICK! Don't worry dear we'll take care of you!"

She reached forward to take his arm but he pulled back.

_'I have to get out of here!'_

His chest rose and fell quickly, and it felt like the world was rocking from under him. 

"No, no don't come near me! I'm fine! I'm fine!" 

Now both Moomin and Moominpapa were running towards them, he had to get out of there and _fast._

"Snufkin are you okay!? Oh my gosh your bleeding!" Moomin was now in front of him reaching towards him as he backed away frantically, trying to get his bearings as his head was spinning.

Moomin gripped Snufkin's wrist trying to calm him down, but it only made it worse.

"Just leave me alone!"

He twisted his arm out of Moomin's grasp and sprinted for the woods. Blood trailed behind him and he pressed a hand against his stomach to try and stop the bleeding. He heard them following him, calling his name and yelling other things he couldn't hear. But it was no use, even in his state he was still much faster than them. 

He had already made it into the forest, ripping off his belt to release his tail. He gained a little balance from that and started tearing through the woods, still gripping his abdomen. 

He thought back to when Moomin had tackled him to the ground and how much that hurt. He must not have noticed his wound had reopened throughout all the excitement and nerves he had built up. He cursed under to himself for being so stupid, it was ridiculous to think he could just go back to the way things were before. 

Guilt tore at his heart, Moomin looked so... different. When he hugged him he'd felt frail and fragile against him. And now when they tried to help him, he left them again. Finally, the rush of getting away started to wear off and he really felt the effects of his injury. He collapsed on the spot, not being able to take a single step further, and lifted his shirt to see the damage. 

slowly he peeled the bandages back and cringed. _'Yep, that's bad.'_ He let his head fall back into the dirt. 

_'I've got ..to Get .. to .. camp..'_

All his thoughts were very disorientated, and his vision started to fade. 

_'I can't pass out here! Come on stay awake... Sta..y ...a wa..ke'_

The last thing he remembered was someone calling out to him, and a wide-eyed red-haired girl standing over him just before he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I like leaving things on a cliffhanger! 
> 
> Thank you to the people who have read my story thus far, I'll be delving into more detail on Snufkins past soon ;)


	8. Concern

"We have to go after him!" Tears welled in the corners of moomins eyes, pleading his father to do something.

"I know, i'll go. You stay here with your mother."

"No! I have to go with you! He was injured, you might need my help! He might need my help..."

"I know you want to go but it's too dangerous," Moominpapa hoisted his rifle over his shoulder "There have been rumours going around about a beast living on that mountain. I heard it even took down a wolf, there's no way I can put you in danger like that." Moomin papa placed his hat atop his head, and was ready to go.

"Your father's right Moomin, it's better if you just leave this one to the adults..."

"I'm going whether you like it or not, you can't stop me. So either you let me go with you or I go by myself!" Tears of concern and anger streamed down his face as hard as he had tried to hold them back.

Papa placed a hand on Moomins shoulder giving him a defeated expression "Well, I'd prefer if you stayed by me so... I suppose you can come." MoominMama was about to object but Papa lifted a hand to stop her, shaking his head.

"Come now Moomin, he couldn't have gotten far in his state." Moomin was surprised he had caved so easily, but then gave a serious yet determined nod.

And with that they headed into the dark forest in search of their injured friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter this time, just wanted to squeeze in a little bit of foreshadowing this chapter don't mind me... :P


	9. Captive

A voice rang through his head, yet he couldn't seem to lift his heavy eyelids up to see who they were. He only caught a glimpse of red hair. He tried to speak but he could only manage a pained groan.

Someone flipped him onto his back, there was a brief pause followed by a very confused voice calling out his name.

"Snufkin?"

Next thing he knew he was being dragged through the dirt by his arm. No longer able to fight, he gave in and allowed himself to be carried off by the mysterious redhead.

)(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)(

_'So... cold'_

A small child stood in a snow-filled forest, shivering and stumbling to catch up to someone.

A tiny delicate hand reached up to tug on the shirt of their guardian, trying to get their attention.

"Dad, I'm c-cold.." His breath billowed around his face as he spoke, and after a moment of silence, he pulled yet again on the shirt of the man desperate to get his attention.

"D-dad-" the child started

"Were almost there, just hang on a little longer." The man said, not even turning to look at his younger companion.

Freshly fallen snow crunched under their feet as they trudged through the icy woods, and the child no older than 4 huffed to keep up with his father. His nose was red and stuffed from the cold and his legs, which were much shorter than his fathers, were growing achy and tired. He was starting to fall behind, and as nightfall came his tiredness only grew.

"Stay close to me," He scolded, giving his son a half-hearted side glance. But his gaze softened at the sight of the child's reddened nose and tired eyes. "I promise we'll get there soon and then you can rest."

The child was yet to find out where he was being taken, or why. His father had only said that it was a surprise. His heart leaped once again at the thought of a grand present waiting for him, and so his little legs pumped as fast as they could in an attempt to catch up. Only for him to go toppling over a tree root and into the snow face first, sucking the little body warmth he had created away from him.

"Dad! P-please wait for me!" Tears streamed down his face as he sniffled once again, chilled to the bone.

"Snufkin we don't have time for thi-" His father turned around to face the little boy, and he flinched away expecting to be scolded again. But instead his father ran over to him, concern clouding his eyes.

"Snufkin! Are you alright? You need to be more careful!"

He paused for a brief moment staring into the little redhead's wide eyes, "I'll carry you for now, you seem tired." He lifted the boy into his arms with ease, and the child snuggled into the fluffy scarf his father wore, staring at him with eyes of wonder and appreciation.

Everything blurred into the background as the sound of the forests and the rhythmic bounce of his father's red brimmed hat lulled the child to sleep.

><______________________________________________________><

Snufkin woke up shirtless on a cold stone bed, with nothing but a pillow under his head for comfort. Bandages covered his wound and he couldn't seem to figure out where he was, or even what had happened for that matter.

He strained to sit up, his mind fuzzy and senses feeling dulled, realizing a moment later he was chained down to the concrete slab.

_'Where am I? What's happening?'_

After a few minutes of struggling and failing to twist out of the cuffs, he sensed someone approaching.

"Oh snufkin, you're finally awake!" He jumped at the voice of a cheerful girl, now standing a few feet from him.

"Who are you? Where am I?" He demanded, but she didn't answer and instead continued talking as if he never said anything at all. "You know for a while there I thought you weren't going to make it." Snufkin angrily squinted at her, unable to do anything else, and clearly not as happy with the situation as this girl seemed to be.

"I... I was being serious. I really was worried about you y'know." She said half-heartedly as if reading his mind, leaning against the counter behind her.

"...Oh don't look so angry at me, I totally saved your life! What, don't you recognize me?"

Now he was confused, _'do I know this girl?'_ He wasn't as disorientated as a few minutes ago and began scanning the room. A dusty cottage with stone shelves full of... Potions?

He went silent, scanning his memory. The girl just sighed "Come on now, I don't look that different do I?" She pushed her shoulder-length red hair out of her eyes and stepped closer so he could get a better look at her.

That's when it hit him.

"Wait a minute... ALICE?" Snufkin said with clear surprise in his voice

"Bingo! I'm a fully realized witch now! Pretty cool huh?" She said cheerfully and he just stared at her, completely dumbfounded.

"It sure has been a while snuf, you know I didn't recognize you either at first. Your lucky I did or you'd be dead right now."

She was still just as happy as before, smiling like she'd just ran into him at the market or something. She'd definitely changed from when they were all just a bunch of careless kids. It must have been at least 2 or 3 years since he'd last heard from her.

"I sure was surprised to see you, you were a total bloody mess!"

Her unwavering happiness in this seemingly morbid situation put him off, and desperate to get some information on what was happening he attempted to change the subject.

"I'm really not in the mood for small talk, now answer my questions. How did I get here? Where's Moomin? Is he okay? I... I didn't hurt anyone did I?"

"Well... I'm really not sure what led up to you being in this state. I just happened to come across you while collecting supplies. As for Moomin? I haven't seen him in years, though I had guessed you'd be asking about him."

"But.. then why..?" He wasn't any less confused as to what was happening, or why he was chained to a stone table.

**He was chained to a stone table**

His panic returned as he remembered the situation he was in and he started struggling to break free again.

"'Oh yeah, about that. I kinda had to chain you down..." Alice started nonchalantly, but his heart still raced.

He pulled once again on his chains, this time causing the stone to crumble a little, and Alice jumped in quickly, with slight surprise and weariness at the strength he seemed to possess. The urge to ask how he had changed so much in the years they were apart loomed in the back of her mind, but she didn't want to end up interrogating him.

"Calm down! Yeesh, okay so I may have lied just a bit. I wouldn't have had to chain you down if you hadn't attacked me." She pulled down the sleeve of her shirt to reveal bandages stretched over her shoulder and down her back as proof.

"I had been trying to lift you on the table to, you know, _save your life_ when all of the sudden you decided to dig your claws into my back!" He stared in disbelief, as he didn't remember doing any of that.

"You were calling out someone's name, something about not leaving you behind. But I'm fine now, so no need to apologize or anything..." She huffed in a tone that clearly meant she wanted an apology. Snufkin just ignored her though, getting straight to the point.

"Please unchain me now, I would like very much to leave. Moomin is likely searching for me still." Alice just angrily sighed, crossing her arms as she continued talking. "I still haven't properly treated your wound, I only stopped the bleeding. I kinda needed you to be awake for me to reverse whatever you did to yourself."

"How long is this going to take?" Snufkin asked still on edge.

"Its not that easy you see, I'm not sure _what_ you did to it but I'm going to have to exorcise magic placed there before." She crossed her arms, the happiness in her tone gone. "But seriously, what on earth did you _do_?"

He managed to prop himself up using his elbows even with his confined movement and stared at her. She was only 14 last time they'd met, yet the woman standing across from him now looked nothing like she did back then. Her normally long red hair was cut to just below shoulder length, and she no longer wore the dingy grey dress she did before.

"Well? Are you going to answer or what?" she said impatiently

"I may have dumped some sort of... healing potion on it?" he said guiltily.

"You idiot! Did you even read the directions before using it??" She said, whacking him in the back of the head

"Owww I'm sorry okay? I was kind of _bleeding to death_ and didn't have time to read an entire paragraph of text!"

Alice let out an annoyed sigh, "You really haven't changed at all have you.."

"Hey what's that supposed to mea-" Snufkin began, but was cut off abruptly

"Earlier when I said you almost died, I was being serious. If I don't exorcise the spell you placed on yourself it's only going to get worse."

"Then why didn't you just go ahead and fix it while I was out?" Snufkin asked

"As I said before, you have to be conscious for it to work. Since this is magic I can't just heal your body physically, your brain has to process that you're no longer injured. In other words, your spiritual body was also damaged and unless you're awake for the process you'll never truly be healed." 

Snufkin didn't fully understand what she was trying to say, but he was just glad that this whole ordeal would finally be over.

_'How am I going to explain this to moomin...'_ Letting out a tired, already exhausted sigh he made up his mind, he had to get back to moomin and make sure he was safe.

"Okay, sounds fine to me. Just do whatever you need to fix me please."

"I don't think you understand, this is going to hurt, _a lot._ "

"I guessed that much, just get on with it then." He said unfazed.

Alice sighed "If you say so, just... try not to pass out from the pain okay? Then I'd have to start all over again."

He nodded, sucking in a breath of anticipation and closing his eyes tightly preparing himself. He could sense Alice hurrying around the room, probably getting things ready for the spell. _'You can handle this, it's no big deal. A little torture never killed you. This will be nothing compared to what you've been through'_ He thought, trying to calm his nerves.

Alice finally stopped moving, and he could smell an array of strange ingredients placed on the table. Everything was in place and ready,

"Okay... everything's ready. Try and relax, being tense only makes it worse." He let out a shaky breath, consciously trying to relax his muscles.

"Let us begin then." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just figured out how to use italic and bold text on this site, that'll come in handy for sure lol. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


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